Goodbye Girl

*sigh* Another school year is about to begin. It's crezy to think about what I was doing this time last year. ARt had just come back into town, I was moving into Trish Neale's house, and Cameron and Heather had just gotten engaged. Wow... So much can change in a year. This year is going to be drastically different. I'm currently living with my Aunt Janell. She teaches ESL at a local middle school and interprets for the deaf for Dallas County Community Colleges in the evenings. during the week she leaves at 7 am and doesn't get home until 9 or 9:30 pm. She's probably picking up an interpreting gig for a Saturday class as well, which means that I'm pretty much left to my own devices all the time. Thank heaven for public transportation... who knew one day I'd be saying that... but if you don't have a car, in a city like Dallas, you can't go without it.

Anyway... as for me, well, I had wanted to go to school, but I don't think that's going to be possible. I was planning on paying for school with a pell grant, but because I got started so late, my grant won't clear for 3 weeks, and this school requires that you pay for tuition up front. It's crazy. Sooooo... I might end up just working this semester and then beginning school in January. I'm just praying that it all works out...

Y'know, change is a very scary thing. I've left everyone that I know and love behind me. I'm stepping WAY out of my comfort zone, while my support system, that I rely on so heavily, is half a country away. There's something to be said for starting over, but then again, rebuilding a life isn't easy. This is the first move I've made where I don't have either my immediate family or an established group of friends to fall back on. Well, now that Hannah's gone back to BV.

There have been days in the last few weeks that I've felt so lost. There are some good people in the singles ward here, but I just feel so... well, I jut hate feeling self-concious. I know that I'll make friends, I just worry about what people think about me. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. I'm so used to just feeling at home. I'm craving it soo much. Wherever I was in BV, I was comfortable in my surroundings. I never had to worry about acceptance and all of that. I was at home wherever I went. I guess what's eating at me the most is that my good-byes are becoming more permanent than I wanted them to be.

Long story short.... everything is changing and I can't stop it. I guess... I just want to take a minute to thank everyone who's changed my life since I moved to BV, and especially those who have been my support for the last two years. I'll just simply say, I love and miss you all. I hope all of you have the most fabulous semester ever, and if you find the time, drop me a line every so often. :)