Well, it seems like my life has been falling to pieces recently. I think I've been crying, or on the verge of tears for weeks.
I'm back in the same spot with my job. It's easy, sure, but I don't move all day and I'm tired of being in the phone business... it's old. I really wish I had a job that requires more variety and movement. I work with chill people and it's a very employee friendly work environment. I'm just really tired of working on the phone, and now that they've imposed Mandatory Overtime... I'm about to go nuts by the end of my 10 hour day.
As for everything else... I've decided to wait to go to school until I get my residency. It cuts tuition in half and my year will be up in May. Wow.. crazy that I've been here for almost 9 months.
Recently there's been some drama with me and the house that I hang out at. Now, I haven't been too nice to them in the past month, but I just realized that due to some stuff that went down I was able to recognize that none of them care a flying flip about me and could care less about whether or not I'm around. I'm have not been a perfect friend, but to those of you who know me, I do make a big effort to be the best friend that I can be to everyone. I've been putting so much time and effort into trying to make some of these friendships work. I am so homesick for the friendships that I enjoyed in VA and when I moved it left a huge hole in my life that I've been trying to fill with mediocrity. And now I've realized that mediocrity won't cut it. Don't get me wrong I have made some very good friends that I love and adore, but the support system that was there in BV is gone. Well, it's still in BV, and I'm in Dallas... which does me no good. I am used to the respect and courtesey that was shared by my friends in VA, and the people that have caused the problem here do not understand what it means to be a friened. They have not even the slightest comprehension of what friendship and unconditional love really are. I have tried my best but I cannot deal with the disrespect, crassness, and completely juvenile behavior that I've just been letting roll off my back. To top it all off I'm still trying to learn to deal with my aunt and so I frequently feel like no matter where I go I'm being hit by a barrage of my faults and mistakes. I miss and love all of you on the east coast(and in Utah/Glasgow/and soon-to-be Russia ;-)), so keep in touch, because I desperately need to hear from you, and to the few of you who I have here, thanks. I couldn't do it without you. Sooo... yeah... I guess that explains whay I've been so... down. I'm working on it, so thank you for your patience.
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2 comments:
I don't know if it means much coming from me, but I'm sorry to hear that's been happening to you. And every now and then I miss Virginia as well.
I know things haven't been stellar between us, but I'd like to be able to put everything behind us and go from there. And if you want, me and Art can kick their butts. That's just an option though.
And does it make sense that every time I see a preview of 24, I just shudder a little bit? :)
Let me know if you want to talk some time. You know where I'm at.
Kozee
PS...I still rule at Mario Kart.
Being homesick = major suckiness. And it wears you down, when nothing quite fits right, and you just can't seem to figure it out...it's like you're staring at a magic eye puzzle, trying to bring the hidden picture into focus, but you can't do it. That strain will get to you, and it's no wonder you're scraped thin like that.
I love you, Keely, and I'm here for you, whenever you need. Hopefully things will get better for you. I'll certainly be keeping you in my prayers.
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